|Times They Are a'Changin
||[05 May 2009|11:56pm]
The wind against my body was strong while I rode along the shore.
The waves slowly began to crumble. Moment by moment they would
fade in and fade out. Reaching closer to the small feet that
continued to laugh and run away. A game of cat and mouse. It is
getting peaceful again. The warm nights and the uncomfortable heat
filled days. I watch the sun rise in the morning. And I watch the
sun set at night. My sleep is conquered by thoughts. Rushing and
arguing in the earlier hours of dawn. I don't know what exactly
I should be thinking, but I know these thoughts are not in the
prerequisites. In a few weeks I am going to be alone. Completely
alone in a small bedroom. And I have never been more excited.
Except for when I was four and went to Disneyland. But my first
bedroom by myself. My own room. My. Own. Room. I don't know whether
I am going to grow incredibly depressed or I am going to grow
stronger because I am finally allowed to think and breathe and
write and be. On my own. Be. Simple as that. I will find out
soon enough. Until then I am enjoying the fading moments of having
roommates. Friends at my door and on my couch when I walk in after
a rough day at work. I may just be able to focus on my writing
and my art for the first time in quite a while. Maybe even start
taking photos again. When I realize what I want out of myself
maybe I can figure out what I want out of the friendships
I have been trying to acquire over the past few months.
||[06 Aug 2007|04:30pm]
I am currently sitting in my best friend's new apartment, looking out
into the woods. Indiana is humid and makes me feel as if I can't breathe
every time I step outside. The people are so different here now. Everything
has changed, but not for the better. I miss the old five year old days when
drugs weren't a problem and people would prefer roller skating and playing
in the backyard rather than sitting around popping little pills and running
around getting into serious trouble. Friday I took the train up to Chicago
and spent about three hours dodging traffic and trying to keep up with
my bicycling partner. We stopped at little art galleries and ate pizza in
the hipster part of town. He showed me more of the city in three hours
than I ever saw in the twelve years that I lived in Indiana. I have two more
days of this horrid weather and then I am heading back to health conscious
and beautiful skies of San Francisco. I am beginning to miss the fresh
mountain air and more so my bicycle! I don't think I will be coming back
to Indiana any time soon but I would very much like to go to Chicago
again, maybe in the winter time, when the weather is beautiful and
snow fills the streets, rather than sticky and gross! There are so many
wonderful things that I want to share, but I am going to wait until I get
back to my own living quarters so I can tell the tales with photos! I
hope you are all not having to go through this humidity in the Midwest.
||[12 Jul 2007|09:01pm]
I have been spending a lot of time at local coffee
houses with a complicated boy. Smoke fills our lungs
and the breeze makes it float away in mystical patterns.
He tells me stories. I listen. We sit quietly sometimes
and simply watch the rest of the world go by in fast
cars and glimmering lights. I am the first female friend
he has ever had. We talk about being old and wrinkly
and alone and calling one another at our old ages to
complain about how lonely we are. He tells me of his
past lovers. Detail after detail, I pay attention. He
does not know how closely I actually listen. Sometimes
we tell stories of our childhood. Taking turns telling
tales. He always shares more than I do, but I am not
one to tell very much about myself. He knows this by
now, but still he is very persistent, trying to open
me up so he can read what is really inside of me. I
do not know why we carry on this way, but I enjoy it
and am going to miss our chats during the period of
time I will be away. But I know that I will come back
and he will still be here. Waiting to tell me all
about last night and the wild things that he can
remember. It is nice to have someone to talk to now.
Or at least to listen to to keep my mind sound.
Here is to those nights of smoke and lights.
||[02 Jan 2007|12:46pm]
"Tuer un homme et vous êtes un meurtrier.
Tuer des milliers et vous êtes vainqueur.
Tout le monde tuer et vous êtes un dieu."
( j'adoreCollapse )
||[29 Nov 2006|08:47pm]
Once I heard a story about a girl that ran
away from home and lived among many wild
critters in a tiny cabin. If I were that
girl I would take all of these lovely
items and put them in my little cabin.
( hurrah hurrahCollapse )